Colonial Ancestors- road trip stage one - Moonahcullah

Post exhibition opening I went on a road trip to unfold the next stage of my project.
My aim was to travel to Northwestern NSW and try to find the old property my great grandfather had established in the 1880's. I then wanted to find out whose land he occupied and try to make connections with the traditional owners. My friend of 28 years Cecily Atkinson agreed to come with me on the trip.
I was so grateful to have her with me as I ventured into this unknown territory. Travelling into the country with an Aboriginal person is so different even if I am not travelling on her country. It brings with it another view of the landscape and history of the places you travel through. When I travel on my own I am always slightly uncomfortable, sensing that I am on someone else's land and that history is not laid to rest. Even though in most cases there are no Aboriginal people present, if there were, I feel that I instantly fall into the position of the enemy in their eyes. I know that this may not the case for many Aboriginal people but for me I feel my shame at the distance between us given by the unresolved past. I have always felt this way and it is why I haven't travelled widely in Australia. Somehow I feel that I still need a guide or to be invited to the country by the people who were displaced.

The first stop on the trip was appropriately to Cecily's traditional country. It was where she grew up and where her Mother and Grandmother lived for most of their lives still living off the land to a large extent.
Staying at Moonahcullah was a privilege. We arrived at dusk and Cecily took me to the cemetery which was where her mother and grandmother were buried. So sad to see so many graves of the too young and tiny graves of children.

It was close to her family hut. There was also a fenced off area where some of the repatriated remains were buried. It felt good to be sleeping near to the old people.
Cecily was at home in this place and she talked a lot about her memories of growing up there. Her grandmother had had to swim across the river to go to school before the bridge was built. Next door to the mission is a big farm called Old Marago. Cecily used to be allowed to pick oranges from the farm as a child due to some unacknowledged connection to the place. The family hut on the mission is decorated beautifully by Noel, Cecily's brother.

Cecily and Noel outside the hut

Noels cupboard

We stayed two nights and were woken each morning by a cacophony of birds. A pair of white eagles sat on the tree on the other side of the billabong behind the hut. They watched us for a long time. It was a full moon on the first night and the leaves glittered in the moonlight. The second night I went outside and was surprised by the eclipse. I had no knowledge of it and was struck by the strangeness as the shadow moved slowly across the face of that golden orb.

Cecily looking over the billabong - Moonahcullah